It's Been 4 Years

Four years ago today, I made a horrible decision to not breed with Satan's twin brother and ended a life that was part of me.  I still cannot get over it.  Every time I think about it, I cringe and begin to clam up.  I hate what I did and I hate myself for doing it.  I imagine and sometimes fantasize about what could have been; who I could have been and who we could have been.  I often think that life would have been better for me.  Tonight I look up and scream at the oblivion.  Tonight I celebrate nothing.  Tonight I......