Four years ago today, I made a horrible decision to not breed with Satan's twin brother and ended a life that was part of me. I still cannot get over it. Every time I think about it, I cringe and begin to clam up. I hate what I did and I hate myself for doing it. I imagine and sometimes fantasize about what could have been; who I could have been and who we could have been. I often think that life would have been better for me. Tonight I look up and scream at the oblivion. Tonight I celebrate nothing. Tonight I......